Three times a week my ass. Indeed, while I was gone someone convinced me to try having a “career.” I now realized I should have told him a such a thing is a twentieth century invention and to stick in his ear as I am in no need of something so outdated. Confused? Here Terrell Owens will explain it to you. If your still confused check Kishore A. of Fighting for Freedom explains the allusion a bit better than T.O.

Though I am no sucker for nostalgia, I do ride a bicycle, which was a nineteenth century invention and is timeless. As oppossed to spending 55 hours a week at ”a career,” I will do whatever the hell I want until I am forced to get a job, which is as I understand it a much older invention that has stood the test of time.   Though, I’m not sure what it is exactly I’ll be doing hopefully it will help solve all the money laundering problems in Zimbabwe. Yes, ending the global crapitalism Empire is certainly a priority, but how important I just can’t say. I haven’t seen any adds on craigslist either so it makes it a bit more difficult than jobs.  If you haven’t noticed the blogtacular website has some seditious undertones. Some might even call it sardonic to the point of Anarchy. I’ve been asked by my own mummy in fact, “What does Anarchy mean? And won’t there be Chaos! What is your alternative?” They had spent much time working on their “career,” so I couldn’t really blame them. When you have a career there is no time meditations on politics realiity and misbelief, mysticismss and trickery, and besides that’s not appropriate for the office in the first place.  No the bar is really a much better venue.

Anyways I got to thinking with all these people wasting their days renting themselves out. I should start an Anarchist street canvass, to enlighten them about the ways of Anarchy. For those of you unfamiliar with the term ”canvassing” it basically means either going door to door or as in this case standing on the corner and asking for money and volunteers.  I’ve done it for work before, but perhaps now that I have temporarily freed myself from wage slavery I might canvass try this. So I present to you how an ideal Anarchist street canvass would opperate.

Anarchist: Hey!? You look like you can’t stand the government!

Confused Wage Slave or CWS:  Yeah, those bullshit Democrats/Republicans, damn IRS, taking my money, vauge poltical reference to freedom and possibly yesteryear…

Anarchist: Indeed, so what do you do about this?

Crapped-on Worker Subordinate or CWS: Well I vote.

Anarchist: Do you know how many voters it takes to change a light bulb?

Croney Winked Sucker or CWS: I don’t know three or something…

Anarchist: Its a trick question. Voters can’t change anything (shit is also acceptable and encouraged if CWS has already gone there). Every year people line up behind either a Republican or Democrat and punch the  card and though candidates are shuffled around nothing ever really changes for the better.  Why don’t you do more about it?

CWS: Well I don’t really know what to do or what would be better? Show me something better, this is the best country in the world!

Anarchist:  Maybe, but image if there weren’t countries or governments to rule over people. Then everyone everywhere would be better off. Doesn’t that seem better?

CWS: That sounds like Anarchy. There would be chaos!

Anarchists: So if there was no more United Snakes Government stopping you, you would go rob your neighboor?

CWS: Yeah, maybe I would.

Anarchists: Don’t you think thats a little short sighted, he will just steal from you when he figures it out. I don’t think you even know what Anarchy means, in the Greek it means without rulers, which doens’t mean there would be chaos, I mean not to fetishize the Greeks. They are kinky enough as is… Thats a different issue though, look at the world right now/ Isn’t there arleady chaos?

CWS: Look this is stupid. Of course there is  some chaos, but atleast people aren’t blowing eachother up.

Anarchist: Some Chaos? I’m sorry but if you haven’t checked recently, but blowing each other up is clockwork for some poeple. Not only in Iraq and Afghanistan but around the globe. There is apartheid in “the Holy Land.” People in the Congo are at war for the metal in our cell phones. I mean there are plenty of examples of just violence against humans. We’re over farming at a rate that will turn this county into a desert just like humans did in the middle east.  Ever wonder why the fertile crescent is a desert? There are hundreds of thousands of barrels of oil flying into the gulf of Mexico on the daily. Again that is just two examples. Do you really expect the system that produced these conditions to do anything about substantial about it?

Corporate Whack-job Swine or CWS: I suppose your right but what can I do about it?

Anarchist: Well what do you feel  passionately about?

Career Wanting Simpleton or CWS: Well I want to help kids/ the environment/ animals/ workers/ immigrants/ LGBT people/ black and brown people everywhere/ run as an independent/ break out bank windows/ burn cop cars ect…

Anarchist: [Busts outs action calender], Well there is Group X for Issue Y meeting up this Saturday to do a family friendly March. Do you think you can be there? It starts at four.

CWS: Sure is there any thing else I can do?

Anarchist: Well, if you want want make a contribution to the cause so I can keep doing this and don’t end up in a cubical selling toilet paper rolls, but first let me get your number and email.

CWS: Okay, It’s 555-555-0003 and CWS@workerbeecorp.com. how much should I give?

Anarchist: Ten Thousand Dollars would be nice. However, I think as much as you feel comfortable giving is more appropriate.

Now this again is an ideal conversation. Most conversations wouldn’t likely go that way. Invariable you would run into objections, which should be overcome if possible. Here are some such objections, I think and anarchist street canvasser might run into?

CWS: Well how are we going to have no rulers and still get things done?

Anarchist: No rulers doesn’t mean no organization. It just means no one is the boss, everyone decides for themselves with out physical or economic coercion what to do with their time. Then decisions would be made by the people that the decisions effect. Like the decision to close a factory being made by the workers, not the some banker who has decided a fire sale of the company’s equipment and property is more profitable. Is having corporate oligarchs and political hacks miles away fighting amongst themselves for a bigger piece of the pie really a better option?

CMS: That kind of stuff has never worked.

Anarchist: Or the only examples of that time of decision making that hasn’t worked are brought to light, because the fat cats running big media don’t want you to get any bright ideas.  Six years ago, it worked in Argentina when the economy collapsed.  Plenty of religious groups and indigenous people have made less hierarchical and community based groups. Not to mention the autonomous zones and reclaimed spaces in Italy, Greece, and other countries that go about each day without violent internal strife. Have you really looked into this or are you just going on what you thought was the case?

CWS: Well what makes you mister know it all?

Anarchist: Look I don’t claim to have The Answers, I’ve just maybe looked into this a little more than most people. I hear most people wining about the Government, but not really thinking about what they can do to change things for the better or even understanding what the better might look light. I’m just trying to have a conversation with you and see what your passionate about, so I can connect you with people who are passionate about the same thing.  If you don’t want me to do that for you, then you are free to turn and walk away. If you care to keep talking what are you you politically passionate about?

Now this is a scenario I would expect to be unfortunately inevitable.

CWS: Well if we could just get rid of those damn Blacks/ Jews/ Arabs/ Mexicans/ Japanese/ Whites/ Gays/ Catholics, ect…

Anarchist: Whoa, I think your getting the wrong idea here. If you really are going to blame all your problems on one group of people, I don’t think we should be talking. The problem isn’t a certain group of people, the problem is the people who think they can order people about to better themselves and the institutions that allow them to do it. To be clear, if you refuse to judge people based on the content of their character, but on some other erroneous characteristic, I can’t do anything for you.

Or you could get something like this.

CWS: Alright, Hells Yeahs, lets go violently overthrow the government and take that shit over.

Anarchist: Whoa, I think you’ve gotten the wrong idea. Although I can appreciate a diversity of tactics, You can’t replace a violent and repressive order with a violence and repression. That will just lead to the same set of conditions with different people at the top. Any real revolution can only use violence when all other options are exhausted. Until people are out in the streets and the government is shooting and them, wide scale violence against any humans is simply unacceptable. Are you familiar with Monkey Wrenching or the Luddites?

Anyways that would be my way of Anarchist canvassing. It would be fun to try, maybe I just might.