After a long hiatus the ParkingLotFields is back. My apologies to you ten or so readers. I realize you must have been terribly lost in the great swashy-swashy of the network news cycle, amidst the tremors of what looks like the end of the world as we know it! I was  too occupied traveling up a “degree” in society to maintain my efforts knocking the rest of it down a few. Now that I am done with four years of the medieval  institution called the University and had two weeks to drink myself back to present day, I will once again commence my blabbering on this blog.

Seriously, though the shit has hit the proverbial fan. Pehaps I’ve been drinking myself back to modernity to hard as post apocalyptic science fiction movies are beginning to take on a new and frightening dimension of reality. Oil leaks, that people keep calling a spill (a spill is a one time expulsion of a finite amount of liquid; a leak is the letting of a ongoing stream of liquid which if unattended will continue into perpetuity) are turning the gulf of Mexico into a toxic lagoon.  Out of which, the swamp thing will someday emerge. Its not funny though, and not simply for the poor quality joke. The reality is BP is using a toxic chemical to disperse the oil. So if you plan to go to the beach in Forida anytime in the next few or… years, you’ll get the chance to swim in crude oil and poisonous dispersant.

The dispersant doesn’t actually break down the oil into anything else, it just spreads it out. That way all the crude and dispercent will coat you evenly in a cancerous toxic bath. The last step is a nuclear emergency in the gulf and we’ll have a legit zombie bath on our hands. Wild life will turn into mutant zombie life forms and spread the mutanous zobie disease that so many comic books and movies predicted.  Yeah, if I lived on the gulf coast I would run to the mountains. Get to the highlands before the inevitable nuclear “incident” creates a tidal wave of zombipathiocancertitus.

On second thought… The mountains might not offer the same protection they once had, since many have been blown to bits. I suppose as long as we don’t blow up all the mountains and posion all the oceans, we  can still sit at home not enjoying them just the same whilst whatching too much T.V. That way will still have the un-exercised option to get off our fat asses and do something that doesn’t involve buying something or being tempted to buy something.

Anyways, I’m writing a letter to some editors about what I think should be done to those responsible for ruining the gulf of mexico so they could make a quick killing.  I’ll put an extended version up when it is done and the papers haven’t published it.

Indeed though much more shit, hath passed.  Here is quick recap. Close to my locale a Chicago area man shot a boy because the boy’s dog shat in his yard while two State reps from illinios called for the national gaurd to deal with violence. A bit further away the mind bending masters of the economy at Goldman got called to congress for a national bitch-out. Luckily the geeks at Goldman were well tutored by their attorneys. While the Senate was too spineless, well paid, or clueless to really cue into the parts of the argument that could have landed some execs in Sing Sing for a date with some of the meaner boys from Harlem. That way the Fabulous Fab and friends can keep ruining the economies of the world.

Here’s a clue for the brilliant minds who managed to kiss enough butt to get to the running joke we call congress: when bankers say they are paying special attention to liquidity, it means they are paying attention to how quick they can off load their miracle elixir securities laced with iodine to widows and orphans. It means they are not concerned with the actual value of the securities. Therefore selling said securities under the pretext of real or underlying value is at the least scum-baggery and at best felonious.

Out West,  the state of Arizona wants to check your papers or throw you in jail. We could conceivably trick the type of gentleman who likes ruining our economoy and envioroments with some sort of trip to the only remaining oil-free vacation coast in the mainland United States.  Once california legalizes the ganja in November, the stoners of the Golden State can just take it upons themselves to prey on the unsespecting corprate leaches.  Once Medicino county becomes the Napa Valley of cannabis all the elites will look to the newly legal means of intoxication as a status symbol. Once these light weights get baked beyond composure, the hippies of Humboldt can get vengeance for all of us by stealing their I.D. and then taking them against their will to Arizona for imigrant bounty. I don’t think immigrant bounty part of the law just yet, but I’m sure its only a matter of time . Then we can lock these tie toting pricks up in the pen for spilling toxins into our our oceans and financial systems (well technically we’d be locking them up for being foreign, but it’s the locked up part that matters).

On the world stage revolutionary acts are being perpetrated all over the place with out racist laws to take advantage of. Some very pissed of K rygs, Thai, and Greeks all rose up in acts of defiance of their governments this spring. The Krygs kicked their government out. The Thai kicked a significant dent in the GDP, by shutting down the heart of Bankok for six weeks.  While the Greeks burned down a bunch of shit. People died in all of these clashes, though the only deaths the media seems that sympathetic about are the late bank workers in Greece. There is a lesson to be learned here though: work is less important than crossing a general strikes picket line. Anyways I suppose the main stream mediagarchy doesn’t give two shits about the violence in Kyrgyzstan and Thailand because they can’t clearly blame the rebels for the violence and, well central and southeast Asians rebels aren’t quite white enough to be given the full human treatment reserved for pussy bank workers who should be out in the streets. Anyways its a great time to travel to these countries if you like cheap hotel bills or throwing rocks at cops.

That is my Triumphant (err fairly routine) return and recap of the craziness occurring everywhere. Hopefully, from this point onward I’ll be posting thrice weekly. If I don’t live up to this, there is absolutely nothing you can do about it. Unless… you click on the donate button a few times. Then you can threaten not to anymore. So give me some cash so I can rationalize ignoring others and laying down on the job to blabber on this blog.