I love it when people who look up to Ronald Reagan or George Bush (either or) blame rappers or athletes with failing to provide a good role model, as if if their role models aren’t just as fucked up. While the ”conservatives” in this country are often lampooned for their idiocy, “Liberals” tend to get a free pass, especially when they bring up the Kennedys. ”Liberals” and  ”conservatives” in quotes because neither really mean what they are suppossed to, but I will tackle that on a latter date. This post, as you might have surmised is to tearing down the epic mythology of the Kenneddy family.  

I picked the Kennedy’s because the becuase I just read the book The Kennedy Men: Three Generations Of Sex, Scandal And Secrets by Nellie Bly. Again I picked the Kennedys also for the strength of the myth that allows people to revere them with out looking like a moron.  This myth even fooled the cynical me. Until a while back I might have defended Kennedy, but now the only thing they are responsible for that I can be proud of is JFK smoking the green in the White House. The point of this post isn’t that the Kennedys are the worst politicalicians ever to hypnotize a people. Stalin did alot more terrible things than all the Kennedy’s combined. However, we hold the Kennedy’s a little bit differently in the history books. Comparing Stalin to the Kennedys isn’t apt, a more apropriate comparison would be to some of the Gangsters Ole Joe and the boys relied on for votes. Who Bobby later turned his back on.

The point of this article is that to attack the notion that our politicans are anyone to look up to. This article goes out the the people who champion FDR with out looking closely enough at his legacy to rember the Japanese internment camps or his own Machevelian political tactics. Looking up to politicians as role models is either naive or sinister, but a truely sinister person would probably say they like to keep thier work and personal lifes seperate and they only look up to politicians on the purely proffesional level of fucking people over.  Eitherway its time for the poeple suffering from political stockholm syndrome to do the rest of us a favor and wise up.

Fist off lets get one thing straight the Kennedy’s great plan for America was them running it. That’s it. Their legecsy was not great dreams of a liberal utopia, nor a  great vision for civil rights, nor a surrepticious attack on the Federal Reserve as some conspiracys theorist are fond of suggesting, just a quest for power. They were plain and simple politicians.

Joe and Rose, being good Catholics pumped out nine children: Joe, John, Rosemary, Kathleen, Eunice, Patricia, Bobby, Jean and Teddy. In the quest for the Presidency and power Joe, John, and Bobby would be kiled, Rosemary lobotamized, Kathleen excomunicated for marying a divorce Anglican and Teddy driven over the brink of aceptable insanity. While the Kennedy’s were raised learning that winning was everything, the girls weren’t allowed to participate in politics.  One reason we know them no by one name, but my many (JFK/Jack/John/President John F. Kennedy, RFK/Bobby/Senator Robert F. Kennedy, Teddy/Ed/Eddy/Senator Edward) is because Ambasador Joe/Joeseph senior/Ambassodor Joesepth P. Kennedy cultivated a long and lasting relationship with  the press including megoliths like William Radolf Hearst. Copy-councious reporters had to think up cut nicknames some of which were used at Kennedy request such as JFK, which brings to mind FDR.   

This leads me to the first myth that the Kennedys stood up for womens rights. Joe said Eunice would have made a great politican if only she had some balls. The men for their part all were notorious adulters, banging movie stars, campagin workers, prostitutes, and pretty much any half way decent looking girl kind enough to spread her legs to them. While this doesn’t necissarily disqualify from being a feminist the way the Kennedys treated the partners in their sexcapades does.

Marylin had the privledge of being dumped by not one but two Kennedy’s.  Yes, they shared their women. Both Bobby and Jack cut of ties with the Marylin by having her private line cut from their offices with-out telling her. She called them only to recieve a message that the line had been disconnected. After that she was stonewalled by the secretarys. President JFK warned female visiters that “…the Ambassador likes to Prowl…” after whitnessing his father opening his robe on a young female visitor and waking her by saying, “this will be something your never going to forget.” Johnny Boy though had learned early how to treat women, when he caught his Dad boning some young puntang on their yacht. He was so startled he jumped overboard. Clearly he wasn’t too horrified as he was fond of taking a nude swim with his secrataries “fiddle” and “faddle.” One person said he used to order up prostitutes like most poeple order a sandwich.

The second myth is that they are some liberal demigods who after all the philandering they still were out for the people. The Kennedy’s were natorious cheapskates. Ambassador Joe used furs and jewels to seduce a movie star working for his film company and later charging the items to her company account. He even made her pay for her trailer. Kennedy help was paid minimum wage and were often borrowed from by the family. President Kennedy used to borrow money from his friend every week from his friend for the collection plate. He rarely paid it back. This was when he was president. 

When the Ambassador was asked by a eeger young campaign worker what dreams he had for America that his son would fulfill he laughed in his face.  His plan was complete. The only reason the Kennedy’s wanted to the Presidency was to rest their slutty taints on the seat of power. They just wanted to bone models and pop bottles, to have it their way or to make ‘em pay, get gorey to get the glory ect.    

The myth that they are were a happy family is perhaps most hilarious. Ambassador Joe (FYI: he bought his ambassadorship from FDR), had plans for his children. Joe and Roses ambitions and vanity had more casualties than those taken by an assassin’s bullet.  Rosemary who wasn’t content to be a political pawn and perhaps neglected. had “emotional problems” which included sneaking out an wandering around at 2 a.m. Eventually Joe had her lobotomized. In his defense, lobotomies were all the rage back then. Needless to say Rosemary was a vegetable the rest of her life. She was locked away in an institution rarely visited by anyone but one of her sisters. The press of course was lied to about this. It was implied she was a nun or some other bullshit.

After John F. Kennedy’s highly exagerated exploits on the south pacific during WWII, were turned into national headlines by Joe and his magic media machine, Joe Jr., the eldest s0n who was used to being incharge, decided he to was destined for military glory. After completing two dangerous bombing tours, he voulounteered for a risky mission taking out the Buzz Bombs hitting london at the time. His plane malfunction and he died. This is perhaps a good thing as he was probably the most entitled and ruthless of the Kennedy children.

When it was Teddy’s turn to sacfafice himself on the altar of power, he simply became widley alcoholic. His atrocious behavior finally resulted in him drowing and campaign cutie and not reporting it for eight hours ensuring her demise. His presidential hopes were dashed, yet some how he remained senator till death.

Anyways these were just some highlights of the thorough thrashing Nellie Bly gives of the most stupendous and horrendous myths to affict the American Politity. Anyways the moral of the story is not to fall for the Party line and never to vote for the same person twice thus ending the circle jerk of voting for bank rolled cowards. Remember voting for a Republican or Democrat or anyother professional politician is throwing your vote away. Be warned though morals didn’t get the Kennedy’s Jack shit. No he won the prize the old fasion way, ruthlessness, hypocrisy, and a good dose of intimidation.